Showing posts with label Baguio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baguio. Show all posts

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Back to Basics

*Had a hard time with grammar on this essay. Ugh, please correct me if you find any wrong grammar lurking somewhere here. I would appreciate it. Submitted for my Creative Writing Travel Piece assignment. I love Baguio, and you don't know how much I really want to come back and study in UP Baguio again and see my spiritual family from Victory Baguio again. T_T
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I have a thing for cold, melancholic nights, when the temperature drops to 15 degrees Celsius and my feet won’t stop shaking. My first nights in Baguio were torture; I wanted to cry every single day. The wind told me that my ten-month stay will be very long.

At first glance, the summer capital seemed to be a very normal place giving you the unnecessary hassle of walking up and down the steep roads, not to mention the vehicles that would blow too much smoke on you every once in a while. The water was ice cold, and you won’t really need a refrigerator that much. I didn’t like SM City Baguio, and all the buildings standing there trying to transform the city into a very industrialized place. A lot of people also warned me to watch out for thieves in crowded places like the public market and Session Road. But despite of that, the locals of Baguio were very nice. Unlike the typical busy ManileƱos, they would really stop and listen to you for any queries, as if you’ve been friends with them before.

I stood in front of McDonalds one rainy night, wondering what I was doing in the north, miles away from my family. I found myself hailing for a taxi, as numerous snob drivers ignored me. There was always traffic lurking in Session Road, and I had no choice but to walk home. On most mornings, as I walked to school, I could literally see the air I breathe out. It must have been the low temperature.

I visited the pond near the Oblation statue frequently. There was peace and quiet in that place, away from the noisy students of UP Baguio. I met ate Len there, a campus minister from the church where I came from. She introduced me to people who became my friends; they made my succeeding months in Baguio seem too short. We ate together at fast food restaurants or carinderias every lunch and dinner. And did I mention that the locals cook very delicious food We often went down Session Road to buy the famous homemade frozen yogurt sold by a bar called “Rumours” where, people said, UP teachers hang out a lot.

I heard my classmates talk about partying ‘til they drop at Nevada. I’ve never been there, anyway. When our block had bonding sessions, I came with them to places such as Teacher’s Camp, The Mansion, Diplomat Hotel, and other baranggays, and discovered how big Baguio actually is. There was even a valley in Benguet called La Trinidad, which has quite a different temperature than Baguio on mornings, but way colder on evenings.

At days when boredom struck, I usually take the jeep to Loakan, and visit the Philippine Military Academy. They kept a historical account of the Armed Forces of the Philippines there. Soldiers were not my thing, but at least history is. I roamed around the museum and sometimes wished I could be one of the female marines. In late February, you would find no space at all. They closed main roads as people watched the famous Panagbenga Festival. I decided not to join, and had a photo shoot with my friends at Camp John Hay instead. The place was perfect for contrast in photos, because the historical place still had its original texture.

The cold, melancholic nights seemed to disappear as time passes by. Maybe I was getting used to it. If not, my resolution would be long walks late at night, with no idea of the direction where I was headed. After I got tired of walking, I just traced back my steps and went home. Recently though, my friends had kept me accompanied in coffee shops or competed with me on eating contests during buffet dinners at Ate Len’s house. Riding the jeep was the best part of getting to her house; I got to see all the shining lights at the bottom of the mountain from Marcos Highway on the way to Balacbac.

Before I went back to Makati, I went to Minesview Park first. That’s where you could find the cheapest strawberry jams and ethnic costumes, and that was when I was reminded that Baguio was not as normal as it seemed. The scenery was breathtaking, plus the feeling of being on top of the world. There was no place like Baguio. I guess it only got lonely when I was still a stranger in that cold land, but the people were nice, food was always great, and Baguio still had the knack of keeping me silent by way of nature.

The last time I went there, a private van drove me home, it was three in the morning, and there was no visible industrial light down Kennon Road. It felt good that at least some cities in the country still had traces of primitivism. People still walked as far as a jeep would take them. Igorots still paraded their costume -- their sense of culture. Flowers still bloomed amidst vehicle smoke. People still went to Burnham to jog on cold mornings despite the stink. They still spoke Ilocano even if Koreans or the Tagalogs were dominating the place. They still sold sundot kulangot, which was almost nonexistent in Manila these days. They still took pride in the beauty of the mountains, which was slowly diminishing.

I lasted for ten months in Baguio without even missing the mall, the internet, or the commercialized things I once got used to in the lowlands. I bet I’m more surprised right now than you are. So I stuck my head out one last time to see the way of life in Baguio and be reminded to go back to basics. I am definitely going back to that place again.

Friday, April 1, 2011

My Side of The Story

DISCLAIMER: Truth is, I don't really feel for him that much. I just wanted to make him guilty for shunning me and deleting me in Facebook all of a sudden. Mean, sorry. =))) Anyway, he's a different guy. Totally not whom I've been talking about in this blog. But I mentioned him in this somewhere as "the one who does not deserve me."
***


UP Baguio, 2011. This is the time and place where I will never fall for someone, I thought to myself. I wouldn't, it had been so easy to turn down so many people, simply because I haven't healed yet. If there's one valuable thing I learned from Philo 27, it would be that when you love, you give yourself to a person as a gift. So if you give your heart to someone, knowing that it's still broken, you just mean to say that he only deserves the broken pieces of your heart. You mean to say that he's not worth the best of you.


Despite all the self-confidence I've lost since my last break-up, I still walked with conviction of how I am definitely better off without my ex. I swore I wouldn't fall for someone at the wrong time. Until this guy entered the picture.


First, I thought he was a miracle, since nobody wanted to play the role of the guy I've written in a script. Fine, I admit that script was crap. Nobody had the guts, except for him. And he had to run around the whole building and say super cheesy lines just because I’ve written it. The thought of it makes me want to laugh so hard.


Second, it was really weird that he was texting me, when we were using different phone lines. I never really texted that much, and it all appeared on the bill. But it was okay. His unusual sense of humor never failed to make me smile. I had fun talking to him since he was so witty, even when I've got nothing interesting to say.


But I knew myself, and I knew my heart. It was almost whole, but that was exactly the problem, it’s just ALMOST. And I don't have the courage to surge into things I don't know and get it shattered again. I wasn't sure if he felt the same way, and I had to stop myself. It was a pretty hopeless case anyway. We never talked personally, except occasionally in my SC10 class.


Yes, we rarely talked. And yes, you can't expect me to have feelings for someone I don't know. But I knew him. Or at least I think I do. I knew his ex-girlfriend. I knew he loves his family so much, and that's what made me like him. I knew he composes songs, I even knew that girl with the beautiful smile whom he wrote his songs for. I envied her, and I somehow wished I was her. I wish I could take his pain away.


But I knew, somewhere deep and hidden in my heart, I felt the same hurt he was feeling. I knew I wasn't whole enough for him, and he wasn't whole enough for me. This could be the right thing in the wrong time, which still makes it the wrong thing. And I guess he barely knows who I really am, so how could he ever feel the same?


I didn't want to just text him, I wanted to be with him. Even when I'm scared that he wouldn't enjoy talking to me. I didn't want him to feel something for me, when we both know that I'm not staying. But those things contradict each other, and just leads me back to the assumption that maybe we really are a hopeless case. Or maybe it's just me.


I remember that day when I walked up to him to give him a bookmark; I told him I was giving it to him because he was my friend. And it makes me sad to think that maybe now he hates me. I can't blame him if he wants to pretend like I never existed. But it won't change the fact that he is my friend, and I wouldn't want to break his heart. Maybe because I know he's been through so much already.


Funny, but he's actually one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to stay here in Baguio. He made me think twice when my mind was already made up. But I guess situations like these are meant to be lived for the moment, and just be dropped all of a sudden. It's not yet the right season for me to feel this way.


So I guess this is goodbye. I want him to stay as my friend, but maybe that's impossible.

Friday, November 26, 2010

2nd Sem Sched :)

TTh
10:00 AM - 11:30 AM -- Speech Communication 10, Basic Speech Communication : Prof. Christian Ezekiel Fajardo
11:30 AM - 01:00 PM -- Communication 2, Basic Research Skills : Prof. Ruth Tindaan
01:00 PM - 02:30 PM -- Social Science II, Social, Economic, and Political Thought : Prof. Arturo Boquiren
02:30 PM - 04:00 PM -- Physics 11, Physics of Everyday Activities : Prof. Crismar Patacsil
04:00 PM - 05:30 PM -- Social Science II, Social, Economic, and Political Thought : Prof. Alejandro Ciencia (Sit-in, dahil wala akong matutunan kay Sir Bok :|)

WF
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM -- Psychology 101, General Psychology : Prof. Evangeline Ram
01:00 PM - 02:30 PM -- Philosophy 27, Philosophizing on Being Human : Prof. Tano Ramoya

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Drama of Moving Out

Oh-kay. Fun's over.


Moving into UP BREHA was easy for me. I actually felt lucky to be here, because a lot of freshies wanted to be here, too. I didn't know that the moving out was harder.



I just don't want to stay here anymore. Don't get me wrong, everyone here is nice. The guards, the admin, and my dormmates, they're all kind. They are what you call "acquaintances". They know my name, but they don't know who I am.

Passing the readmission letter to BREHA was already a difficult choice to make. As much as I wanted to say, " 'Wag mo nang ipasa 'yan, wala naman silang [my parents] magagawa 'pag di ka na-readmit eh," but I'm considering my parent's decision, too. Note CONSIDERING. And, if you're reading that letter right now, you'd probably think about what a total "plastic" I was.



I was talking to my mom a while ago, and it made me cry once again in my room. Of course, nobody heard me. That was like admitting I was problematic, and I wanted them to hear me out when I know they don't give a damn. I wish I could just say that I had eating problems in BREHA, and I HATE CURFEW. But I knew why I really wanted to go.



Don't get me wrong again. I love my roommates. They make me laugh so hard on cold, sad nights by just listening to their conversations. Again, note THEIR. I never really had a significant part in almost all of those conversations. I wanted to join, but I just wasn't the kind of person who knew how to make "banat" or to say something they would actually listen to. How did I even survive the first semester?



Going back to BREHA everytime I'm tired just makes me more stressed. It makes me lonelier by actually imposing the fact that, I'm going to a house, not a home. After an exhausting day, there wouldn't be a "family" to talk to me, or to hear me out. They're the closest people I have in the dormitory, but they're just like the others. They know about me, but they don't know who I am. I could never say something good, or useful. They have already boxed me as "that" girl, the girl whose loner/boring personality got the best of her. I guess, I am at fault, too. But I don't want to be told what to do anymore. I don't want to be told to relate better to them. I just don't want to be told to survive another semester with people who won't accept who I really am, people who never gave me the chance to show who I can be.



I know I should obey my parents. But are money, savings and safety all that matters? I would never know if I'll be able to stay here next sem, or be able to transfer to Diliman. Either way, I'm not doing it to follow my parent's plan for my life. I'm going to do it to follow God's plan.



I guess when I say "I don't want to live in BREHA anymore," all I mean is, I want to have a home. I need to have a family. Another semester is a very long time for me.

Stars Downdate #1

Yes, you read it right. It's downdate now. :)


I don't really know what that means exactly, but the stars update will have to stop. To put it simply, I don't have a crush on him anymore. Haha! Finally! Well, that's kind of nice to know. I'm enjoying him now as my friend and I laugh real hard when I'm with him.



How it happened? I don't know. It's not that I was turned off, someone just told me he's really waiting for someone right now. I don't want to mess with that. Plus, it's better to have him as my friend. (Yes, I know that’s how bitter people make palusot.)

Oh well, it's not a big deal now.



I'm just bothered about this new guy. He ALWAYS catches me looking at him. And I know it disturbs him. I don't know why he's even looking at me in the first place. It's REALLY weird. I might be freaking him out already or something. I just like seeing him smile, that's all. He looks cute, and he's so nice. But I figured out that I should stop looking at him. Not once nor twice, it's too risky. And I know that he knows. My instincts tell me that his instincts told him. Haha. Wish this fades away soon. :|

Sunday, October 31, 2010

One Day at a Time

by Krishna Lou T. Ayungao

10-10917; BA Communication


*FICTION. Italic characters pertain to Euna's final thoughts and past.

"And I die, one day at a time, 'cause I just can't seem to get you off my mind. No matter how I try, try to kill the time. I think that I'm just going crazy, one day at a time." ~Jonas Brothers


June 8, 2009


The wind was upon my face. And I felt like I was floating in air. And white light. It seemed like a long time that I was in that state. I barely recalled what happened only minutes ago. Ouch! What the heck? What was that? Oh okay, now I’m sane. What the hell just happened? I think I landed in the middle of four connected buildings. I looked down only to see that I was wearing a blouse with a sailor collar and a very long skirt. I’ve seen this uniform somewhere. I touched my face and felt pimples creating bumps on my skin. Teenage life. Suddenly, it came back to me. I am wearing my high school uniform. And I am in my former school. Why? Because I had wished to come back here. I felt a pinch on my heart. I wanted to come back here. Okay, that’s it! I didn’t come all the way to Bermuda Triangle to be brought to my past.

I noticed I was wearing my maroon ID lace. I knew right then that I was back to my senior year. I had the feeling that my four years in high school was vague. I hardly remember those three years I knew were fun. High school was summarized by my senior year. Painful and torturing. Do I really have to go through all this again?


“Eunaaaaa! I miss you! So much! I’m just so excited. We’re already in fourth year. Can you believe that? And what have you been up to? I rarely saw you this summer. And what the? Why are you sitting there? Where are your things?” a familiar voice said. For a second, it made me smile to hear that voice. It was Luna, with Katrice. Two of my few high school best friends. It was just like before. Exactly like before.


But I was just too shocked to reply. So now it wasn’t like before. Because my memories told me that I hugged them in excitement. This was the year I’ve been waiting for. I was surprised that my crush since sophomore year was in our class. Not to brag, but some considered us an elite section, the cream section. Of course it was all stereotype, we’re just like the other kids.


We proceeded to line up in front of our classroom. My world stopped when I saw him. He was sitting quietly bearing the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. But I knew he wouldn’t be quiet. I knew a hundred things about him even when at that time and place, I wasn’t supposed to know anything. My mind raced to all the times we were together. Flashbacks of memories and sweetness, of hurt and impossibility. I had my back on him, but I knew – like before – that he was looking at me every minute he had that day.


Is it right to look in your eyes and hope that somehow you would remember me? Is it right to let you go through this again? I don’t know. Since I’ve seen those eyes, I never knew what was right anymore.



July 10, 2009


I woke up and it was already July 10. Okaaay, my time frame is so freaking me out. I mean, how in the world do you sleep on June 8 and wake up on July 10 in just ten hours? Well, of course I went to school. I really can’t bear to disappoint my mom, I know she wouldn’t believe me when I say that I’ve already been through high school and I’m supposed to be 28 years old right now.


The day went on normally. Janine came up to ask me about how I’m coping with Justin. It had been two months since he had his first girlfriend; it kind of hurt my pride that time. I swore I wouldn’t believe in guys anymore. I said I was okay, because I was, and I had to think for three minutes to figure out what happened between me and Justin. That couldn’t be strange enough considering what’s happening to me right now. Today, my teacher in Filipino asked us to write about something painful, I refused to write and cry for my grandmother who died only months ago from the time that I'm in. I refused to sit in front of him like I did thirteen years ago. I wanted to write about him, about us. But it wouldn’t be right. Because now I know why I was brought here. I ‘m here to undo the things that would hurt us both in the future.


If I went on with my life without you, would I forget about you? Would I be happier? Would some other guy be able to hurt me like you did? A part of me would never be happy, knowing that being loved by you would be worth more than anything else. A part of me would always be happy, because I had the chance to be with you again, and now I choose not to hurt you.



July 26, 2009


Mrs. Valdez informed me that I would be joining a certain pageant with Daniel. It wasn't like me to say that I wasn't interested. I wouldn't have turned down the offer. But then again, I said no.


I would give up anything to go back to that time when you looked at me like I was the only girl who existed. Like I would be the one for you. I'd give up anything to hear you say again how beautiful I was that day. But not when I know it would hurt you.



August 8,2009


It feels good to relive the past. I really missed talking to my best friends about the school paper and anything under the sun. Being associate editor is not all fun, I just loved writing. This day used to be weird for me, well, thirteen years ago. I can’t provide any scientific explanation why I’m so interested in love, pardon me, this is just the way I am. Boys in the classroom sprang up with questions like, “What if Daniel courted you? What would you do?” or “Does he have a chance on you?” I used to say that I didn’t know and I was too scared to try. To which they would reply, “How will you know if you won’t try?”


But today, I said, "No, he doesn't have any chance on me. I haven't moved on yet."


Yes, I haven't moved on. I haven't moved on from the way you looked at me, the way you touched my face. The way you cared for me. I haven't moved on from loving you. I haven't moved on from everything about you. Because everything I do just brings me back to you.



August 20, 2009



Today was his 15th birthday. I'll always be 6 months older than he is. And he really didn't start courting me back then until he turned the same age I was. But no, he won't be able to court me again.



He invited everyone to his birthday. People texted me to come. They said he suddenly frowned when he learned that I wouldn't be able to go. I knew he would be sad. I knew I would do anything to come and make him smile, but I pretended to be sick instead.



But I was there. I watched as the sun came down at the Grand Stand, just in front of the street he lived in. I sneaked in when he was gone. Just like I did on his first 15th birthday, when he suddenly turned around and saw me. He smiled like there was nothing that could make him happier that day. It's just that, he didn't see me today. He shouldn't.



How long will I have to keep watching you from afar? How long will I have to hold on to our memories? Even if you've hurt me a thousand times, it really won't stop me from following your eyes.



August 22, 2009



Can you believe this? I'm going through Trigonometry again! This is hell. And I hate assignments. I hate working at home. My cell phone suddenly beeped to alert me of a text message. Oh nice, just when I'm forgetting that I even had a cell phone. Daniel texted. He asked how I was. I wanted to push the reply button so bad, but I didn't.



You walked with me to the mall that day. Even when I looked like I had measles. The punch you made me drink the other night gave me allergies. Still, you took care of me like I was fragile, fearing that I was going to break. You introduced me to your parents that day. I never thought I was that special to you.



We walked at the Grand Stand as the sun was setting. I knew you were going to tell me about how you felt. But it rained. You gestured to take my hand and I put it on yours. To tell you that I'm trusting you, with all my life. The next thing I knew, we were running for shelter.



August 24, 2009



Going through high school again is so creepy. It's just that I get to be better at Math and Physics this time. When I entered the classroom, my journalism adviser asked me to go to Makati Science High School to get her book. She wanted me to come with Luna. Man, I remember having a hard time trying to find that Mr. Escote. But anyway, it's better than being idle.



We were walking across the corridor when Daniel appeared. I wonder why he's still interested in me when I'm being evident about not liking him.



"Euna, uhm, I just thought that maybe you could come with me to Makati High School? I don't know where that is. And they said you were going there, too," he said. I didn't know news could spread that fast. "Well, I'm already going with Luna. You can ask someone else." I walked straight ahead like I didn't see him.



At first, I was reluctant to come with you. But you insisted and said, "Don't worry, I won't leave you there all by yourself. I can't do that." So I went with you. You laid my head on your shoulder and you held my hand. I couldn't move. I didn't know what to do. Even when it felt like it wasn't right, I couldn't take my hand away.



I said "Yes". I didn't know why. I just knew you were the one I was looking for.







***

It's just an experiment :) I know it's not that good.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Kholyn – Krishna Conversation

*Text Message

Kholyn:

God is the
best healer, why depend on time?


Krishna:

Doesn’t God
heal with time?


Kholyn:

God has His
own time.


*LOL, Krishna.
Kokontra ka pa eh. =))

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Stars Update #1

Nakita kita kanina. Tapos hindi ka umiwas. Hindi nga dapat kita babatiin eh. Kunyari busy akong nagbabasa habang naglalakad. Kaya lang nakita mo 'ko, tapos binati mo 'ko. Ganun ka na ba kabait ngayon? 'Di yata uso sa'yo yung salitang "ilang". Parang wala lang sa'yo eh.



Hindi ko pa alam kung anong mararamdaman ko nung kinuha mo yung paper ko sa Comm 1. Siguro yun ang hirap sa'yo. What you see is what you get. Di mo binasa yung paper ko kasi ang title, "How to Make a Sandwich". 'Di mo lang alam, malupit ang laman 'nun.

Tapos nung kinukuha ko sa'yo, ayaw mong ibigay. Hindi ba parang anlabo nun? Tapos nung tinakbuhan kita, tsaka mo naman gustong ibigay. Sinalubong kita pag-akyat mo sa lobby. Kukunin ko na yung paper ko, baka kasi akalain mong iniwan ko lang sa'yo yun kasi gusto kong mabasa mo. At wala ka ring panahong magbasa, may klase ka pa eh. Kaya yun, nagmamadali akong tumakbo papuntang HKP. 11 AM na kasi. Tsaka ko lang na-realize, tapos na pala yung klase ko, 10 AM pala ang start nun. Windang nanaman ako.



*FICTION*

The Makings of a Bloody Sandwich

     “Hey, please take care,” he said as he planted a kiss on the cheek of his girlfriend.

     “Of course I will,” she handed him a lunch box. “Here, I cooked something for you. I know you’re going to miss me.”

     “You shouldn’t have, I’ve already eaten.”

     “You’re a terrible liar, you know that? You can’t even cook.”

     He smiled, and took the lunch box. He knew he was going to miss her. He gave her a big hug before he rode the jeep. The ride was going to last for four hours, and it was going to be dead boring. There was nothing to see except for trees in this rural area. He had been contemplating about his life these days. Going to Mindanao was a choice out of nowhere. He didn’t really know why he studied in UP just to be miles away from his family, writing for his country.


     He thought his butt was growing numb. His legs were having cramps already. “Are we there yet?” he thought to himself. Yet he really didn’t care. He needed the money for his family, and he would go anywhere just to get a news story. Then he thought about his girlfriend, Serah. Her face was appearing in his head for the rest of the trip. It really wasn’t a mistake that he had gone in this place where he was a stranger. He wouldn’t have met her if it wasn’t for this choice.


     Abruptly, the jeep stopped moving. “Thank God,” he thought. He twisted his neck to take a look outside. They were in the middle of a rocky road surrounded by trees. He got the feeling that this wasn’t the place yet. There were only trees, and a road track of dust. There were armed men, more or less a hundred of them. He suddenly felt fear and curiosity at the same time. This could be the perfect news, but he wasn’t in a good position to start with.


      “Everyone, get off the jeep,” said one of them. “Get off the jeep now!” Several gunshots in the air followed.


     One by one, the passengers went down with hands held up high. He was holding the lunchbox. He didn’t know what was happening. “We’re going to be safe. We’re going to be safe,” he said to himself, like a silent litany. The armed men made them all line up. Again, he heard a ripple of gunshots, and blood splashed in every one of those shots. They blasted the head of the man next to him. Then his body budged. He was shot a number of times, like all the others. This time, he really went numb after he felt the pain. He fell on his knees, and then his face was on the ground. He kept looking at the lunch box just beside his face. It was open, chicken and rice scattered on the ground. She cooked Adobo for him, he had smelled it; how he wished he had eaten it. She cooks the best food ever. After a second or two, he passed out.


     Laughter was heard from the armed men. They were having fun, like it was all just a game. They ruled this place called Maguindanao. They had guns, and they had power. They shot everyone as if there was no tomorrow, as if there would never be a payback time.


     On November 23, 2009, the Maguindanao (Ampatuan) Massacre happened. It was noted as the single deadliest event for journalists in history by the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ). It happened just because of a challenge of candidacy in Elections 2010. Fifty-seven people died, twenty-eight were journalists. And this gave way for the Philippines to be called the second most dangerous country for journalists in the world.


     Journalists were killed. Women were shot on their sex organs. They all lay dead on the ground. Their helpless bodies were thrown in a deep pit. They were covered with soil. It was like the perfect way to make sandwich. Then, the next ingredients were the vehicles, thrown in just after their bodies. Again, it was covered with soil. The last bodies were thrown in again. And finally, a thick layer of soil. Yes, it was just like a sandwich.



References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maguindanao_massacre

“Kung Paano Gumawa ng Sandwich” by John Levi Masuli; UP Baguio Outcrop November 2009 Issue

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Malabo kang kausap, 'te!

Pagdating ko sa dorm, humiga agad ako.  Hindi pa naman ako inaantok, pero masama yata loob ko. Ganun naman lagi. Full blast yung earphones ko. Nakikinig ako sa Paramore, Switchfoot, Lifehouse, Vertical Horizon at Fine Frenzy. Para lang humupa yung kalungkutan na nararamdaman ko. Ano na'ng gagawin ko ngayong alam mo na? Gusto ko sanang ipamukha sa'yo na hindi ikaw yun. Kaso lang... ikaw naman talaga. Bakit parang hindi yata okay 'yun? Bakit ganun? Magta-tatlong buwan pa lang naman tayong magkakilala, bakit kaya mahalaga yung mga sinasabi at ginagawa mo? Bakit ako nagagalit, eh malalaman mo lang naman na yun yung nararamdaman ko?

Pride. Hindi nga? Hindi ba matagal nang naubos yung lahat ng pride na kaya kong panghawakan? Sabi nila magkaroon daw ako ng kaunting pride. Tapos ngayong meron ako, gusto naman nilang mawala yun. Ang labo, pare.


Alam mo kung anong mas malabo? Hindi ko alam kung iiwas ka o hindi. Kung iiwas ka, masasaktan ako. Kung hindi naman, ang awkward pa rin. Bakit naman kasi ang stupid ko. Kasalanan ko kaya nahalata mo eh. Tapos feeler ka naman.



Nakakatawa pa, ang ganda ng girlfriend mo. Kamukha n'ya yung niligawan nung ex ko pagkatapos ng break-up namin. Tsk, nako. Sumabay pa 'yun. Birthday na nga pala ng ex ko sa friday. Supposedly, anniversary dapat namin sa 24. Magpa-party na lang ako. :))



Ang daya daya. Sana hindi na lang August.



Labo mo, Krishna. Sisihin daw ba yung buwan ngayon?


*FICTION*

Stars :)

Ang cute mo talaga ngumiti. Oo, hindi ka gwapo. Haha, nagtaka ka pa? Alam mo naman yung taste ko eh. Hindi ako tumitingin sa mukha. Tumitingin ako sa ugali. Asa ka naman na gwapo ka. Siguro nadala lang ako ng personality mo. Lahat yata ng tao sa mundo pwede mong makasundo eh.

Ayun. Ang sarap sa 50's Diner 'no? First time kong kumain dun. 'Di kasi ako gala sa Baguio. Good girl ako? Hindi rin. Busy lang talaga buhay ko, walang panahong gumala. Tapos 'yun, natuwa naman ako nung nagkayayaan mag-dinner. Gutom na rin kasi ako.

Pagkatapos nun sumabay ako sa'yo pauwi. Gabi na kasi, hindi ako pwedeng umuwi mag-isa. Lalo na sa BREHA, baka bigla ako ma-kidnap. As if naman may magkaka-interes sa'kin. Pero malay mo rin.

Paakyat na yung taxi. Tapos sabi mo, "Uy, ang ganda nung kanta oh." Hindi ko naman na-recognize kaagad kasi postmod ang mga pinapakinggan ko. "Ha? Anong kanta nga ulit 'yan?" "Stars ng Callalily". Ah okay. Tapos bumaba na rin ako, hindi nga yata umabot sa chorus yung kanta eh. Pero ngayon, marining ko pa lang yung intro, kinikilabutan na 'ko.

"If only you could hear me shout your name, if only you could feel my love again, the stars in the sky would never be the same. If only I had wings so I could fly, I wanna be with you for all of time. My love for you will never die. If only you were here."

'Di na nga kita dapat papansinin eh. Masyado kasi akong naha-high 'pag andyan ka. Weird ng epekto mo sa'kin. 'Pag kinukwento tuloy kita, kala nila kung sinong gwapo. Tapos kinabukasan, pagharap kong bigla sa court, nakita kita. Naalala ko, game mo nga pala ngayon. Sabi ng block rep nyo i-cheer daw kita. Hindi ko naman magawa, baka masyado kang makahalata.

Ewan. Alam ko namang nakakahalata ka na. Naramdaman ko yung friendly na pag-iwas mo. Pambihira, kahit sa pag-iwas, friendly pa rin. Desperado na nga akong ipakita sa'yo na hindi ikaw yung crush ko eh. Kaso lang na-guilty ako bigla, at baka mas lalo akong magmukhang desperado. 'Di naman magbabago yung treatment ko sa'yo . Kunyari wapakels na lang ako sa pag-iwas mo. Kunyari walang epekto sa'kin yun.

Sayang. Ang ganda nung kanta nung isang gabi. Kaso sabi, "If only you were here" daw eh. Nasa tabi mo lang naman ako nun, ‘di ba malamang para sa girlfriend mo 'yun?

*FICTION*

Monday, August 16, 2010

Miss Org :)

Miss Org daw ako. Basta, second week pa lang yun na yung tawag nila sa'kin. Tapos sabi ng upper classmen mahihirapan daw ako in the future dahil sa dami ng org ko. Yung kapwa freshie ko naman, mostly kilala ko dahil sa orgs ko. Cool 'no? Ah ewan.



Eto na lang. Bigyan kita ng list ng mga Orgs ko.


  1. Lifebox - eto talaga. Kahit siguro mapunta pa 'ko sa ibang school, Lifebox member pa din ako. Kabilang sya sa "religious organizations". Pero Lifebox is more than about religion for me, it's about having a personal relationship with God. :) Siguro nakaka-survive ako ngayon sa Baguio dahil sa kanila. Lifebox exists to Honor God and Make Disciples.

  2. Outcrop - Official Student Publication. Hindi naman daw kasi org ang Outcrop. It's an institution. Hindi pwedeng diktahan ng administration. Dito ko lang talaga na-experience yung real Press Freedom. Ibang iba sa typical high school pub mo, kasi hindi mainstream media ang Outcrop. Masaya ako sa kanila :) Dito talaga namulat yung mata ko sa mga bagay-bagay eh. Nag-apply ako for Photojourn & Lay-out artist, pero news writer din ako.

  3. TABAK - Tanghalang Bayang ng Kabataan sa Baguio. Since 1st love ko ang theater, imposible na hindi ako sumali. Ayun, over ang screening nila talaga. Napunta ako sa Music Pool. The best :D Haha. Masaya naman. Collective ang paglago ng bawat member, hindi pwedeng isa lang. Sobrang dami kong natutunan, at sobrang encouraging nila sa bawat palabas. Para sa bayan ang pagtatanghal nila.

  4. SET-UP - Sining, Eksena, Tinig sa UP. Merong dalawang auditions dito. Nagustuhan ko naman yung org, kaso eventually nag-quit na rin ako. Apolitical kasi eh. Para sakin lang, gusto ko kasi na may purpose talaga yung ginagawa ko. Yung may pag-aalayan ng puso. Yun lang siguro yung hindi ko nakita personally sa org na 'to.

  5. Taekwondo Club - Haha, sa kagustuhang pumayat, sumali ako. :)) Pero di ako masyadong active. Busy kasi eh, at wala pa kasi akong uniform. Pero 2nd Sem talaga, itutuloy ko na 'to. Na-miss ko rin kasi yung training ko nung bata pa 'ko.

  6. ACS - Alliance of Concerned Students. Political Organization. Para siguro sila sa Student Elections. Anyway, naniniwala ang ACS sa SPRAW o Students and People's Rights and Welfare. Sabi nila, pag ACS ka daw, aktibista na. I beg to disagree.

  7. Philo Circle - Or Philosophy Circle. May Philo I kasi ako. Tapos ever since, sobrang love ko na ang Philosophy. Kaya yun, masaya kasi ako sa mga discourses namin. Lalo na nung interview ko, ang tanong ko sa kanila, "Is there such a thing as moving on?" Lumalalim kasi yung pag-intindi ko sa mga bagay-bagay kaya na-enjoy ko talaga sila.

  8. UPB DebSoc - Nag-try out din ako for Debate Society, ayun pasado pero hindi ako tumuloy. Sobrang busy na kasi ng buhay ko, tapos nag-start na sila mag-train kaya ayoko na sumali. Late na 'ko eh. Nag-try din ako sa Argumentum, pero sabi ni Kuya Marco, tsaka na lang daw pag di na 'ko busy.

  9. Anime_HQ - For anime lovers. Obvious? Isang interest org, masaya, colorful at sobrang kulit ng mga tao. Masarap yung binebenta nilang pagkain tuwing Freshie Night. Must try :) Ayung nga, anime fan ako. Pero dahil di ako gaanong addict sa anime, feeling ko di ako papasa kaya di na lang ako tumuloy. Aww, Inuyashaaaa!

Psychological Interpretation

If there's one thing you shouldn't miss when you're in UP, it's the Psych Interpretation. Basically, it's all about your UPG and how you scored in the Psych Test - a different test given to measure your IQ and your attitude.

So here's what Ms. Sally Leung told me.


  • The UPG is composed of 40% of your high school grades and 60% of your UPCAT scores.

  • There are four subtests in UPCAT: Math, Science, Language Proficiency, and Reading Comprehension. If you score more than 75, then your aptitude is above average. If it's above 90, then your aptitude is superior.

  • UPG for each campus is: Diliman - 2.2 something; Manila - 2.2 something; Los Banos - 2.4; Baguio - 2.5. That's all I know :) And oh, Diliman has the highest cut-off grade.

  • The University Predicted Grade is just a prediction of the average grade you could make in UP.

  • We don't question high grades, we only question low grades.:)


Yay! My UPG is 2.3 :) Here are my scores in each subtest: Science - 94, Math - 83, Language Proficiency - 92, Reading Comprehension -89, Average - 90. My psychological interpretation turned out to have the qualities: Extrovert, Feeler, Intuitive, and Perceptive. She said my IQ was 140. Cool. Though I only guessed the answers, and they weren't intelligent guesses. (As in eenie-minie chorva lang.) She said I could be running for honors. Haha! That lifted my spirits up a bit.

Will I be transferring? I still don't know. I'm fine here in Baguio.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

UP Baguio is a non-smoking campus.

So goes the sign boards in UP Baguio. Still, fifty percent or more are smoking inside the campus. Inside the JL rooms, when we’re having a general assembly. Outside the Outcrop Office.  Backstage of the Bulwagang Juan Luna. Any place where the guards can’t see them.


I was shocked to know that there are only more or less seven of us who still refuse to smoke after almost everyone in a certain organization have already tried smoking. I wonder why they still continue doing it despite the knowledge that smoking is bad for the health.


I am not against smokers. It’s their decision to try smoking and get addicted to the fact that they know how to smoke, and eventually get addicted to smoking itself. I just hope they’d consider that there are also non-smokers in UP Baguio. We really don’t want second-hand smoke, because it’s worse. And it’s not really right to teach or to influence us to do the same.


If UPians can’t be expected to follow simple rules inside the campus, how much more can they expect themselves to follow and lead in our own country? –ooh, that’s a very big picture. I’m sorry, I just don’t like second-hand smoke.

Masaya ba ako?

Masaya ba ako tuwing nagkaka-crush ako sa UP Baguio?


Oo. Inspired ako.



Masaya ba ako sa reaksyon ng mga tao upang ipakita na crush nila ako?



Sa una. Pero ayaw ko kasi nun, wala nang challenge.



Masaya ba ako 'pag nakikita kong nare-realize mong wala na akong gusto sa'yo pagkatapos ng lahat ng 

effort mo?

Hindi. Kasi kaibigan kita. Mahalaga ka.



Masaya ba ako tuwing may bago nanaman akong crush na kinakikiligan at pinag-uusapan?



Oo naman. Pero hindi, kapag nandiyan ka sa tabi at nakikinig.



Masaya ba ako na may kakayahan akong saktan ka o paasahin ka kahit wala naman akong ginagawa sa'yo?



Hindi. Hindi talaga.



Masaya pa ba ako tuwing nandiyan ka?



Hindi na.


Pasensya na ha. Ganito lang talaga ako. Wala lang kasi talaga sa'yo yung ugaling hinahanap ko. Pasensya na kung ikinukumpara kita sa isang taong wala namang kinalaman sa'yo. 'Wag ka mag-alala. Nung nakita ko na kawawa ka, napag-desisyunan kong wala na akong crush. Para fair. Kaya ayun, sa mga ayaw maniwala, pasensya, wala na talaga eh.

1st Sem Schedule of 10-10917

1st Year, 1st Sem.



TTh

10:00 AM - 11:30 AM -- Philosophy 1, Philosophical Analysis : Prof. Leticia Tolentino

02:30 PM - 04:00 PM -- Social Science 13, Gender and Society : Prof. Jennifer Josef

04:00 PM - 05:30 PM -- Biology 10, The Gene in Life : Prof. Rocel Amor Ortega


WF

08:30 AM - 10:00 AM -- Communication 1, Communication Skills : Prof. Scott Magkachi Saboy

10:00 AM - 11:00 AM -- Physical Education 1, Foundations of Physical Fitness : Prof. Florendo

02:30 PM - 04:00 PM -- Mathematics 1, Mathematics in Everyday Life : Prof. Rizavel Addawe

Friday, July 23, 2010

Iskolar ng Bayan

Pwede mo na akong tawaging Iskolar ng Bayan. Nasa UP na a'ko. Hindi ko nga inaasahan na pipiliin ko pa rin and UP kahit enrolled na ako sa La Salle Taft. Isang bagay pa na pinili ko ang Baguio. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko nung mga panahon na pinili kong mag-enroll sa UP Baguio. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, magiging independent ako pag pumasok ako dito. Noong una ay tinuring ko lamang ang Baguio bilang "stepping stone" para makapasok sa Diliman o Manila. Ngunit nagbago na ang mga bagay. Hindi ko man lang inaasahan na mamahalin ko ang lugar na ito sa kabila ng kalungkutan na puhunan ko rito.

     Dito lang sa Baguio may abortion at pregnancy stairs. Dito lang may upper, lower at lowest canteen. Dito lang sobrang tutok sa mga estudyante at sobrang inaalagaan ang freshmen. At sobrang liit ng campus. Kahit saan yatang building ako pumunta, may makakasalubong ako na kakilala ko. At ‘pag tumayo ako sa pinakamataas na parte ng campus, matatanaw ko na ang buong UP Baguio. Marami pang maganda sa Baguio kahit alam kong marami pa rin akong hindi pa napupuntahan. At masaya dahil hindi na ako naiirita sa kainitan hindi tulad 'pag bumababa ako. At dahil kaunti lang kami, para kaming isang malaking pamilya. Mainit ang pagtanggap, dahil halos lahat naman sa'min ay nakakaranas ng pagiging homesick.



     Dito lang din sa UP namulat ang aking mga mata. Nagsimula 'yon nung hinila ako ng matalik kong kaibigan sa Outcrop Office. Sumali kaagad ako dahil dati naman akong Associate Editor sa newspaper namin noong high school. At pagkatapos, ang TABAK Baguio (Tanghalang Bayan ng Kabataan sa Baguio) naman ang sinalihan ko. Ang pagtatanghal talaga ang una kong pag-ibig. Pero akala ko ganoon lang kadali iyon. Magsusulat at magtatanghal. Ngunit imposible, dahil lahat yata ng pagsusulat at pagtatanghal nila ay may ibig sabihin, lahat ay may pinag-aalayan. Dito nabuo ang pagmamahal ko sa bayan. Ang pagkakaroon ko ng pakialam sa mga bagay.



     Sabi ko pa noon sa TABAK, hindi ko nakikita ang sarili ko na aktibista kahit sa mga susunod pang panahon. At hindi pa rin naman ako aktibista hanggang ngayon. Siguro dahil iyon sa wala akong pakialam kung ano ang pagiging aktibista. Basta ang alam ko, nagsusulat ako para sa mga mag-aaral na  masyado nang naghihirap dahil sa TOFI, at para sa mga kaibigan kong pumasa ngunit hindi tumuloy sa UP dahil sa sobrang taas na tuition fee. Nagtatanghal ako para sa mga magsasaka at sa mga taong nagbabayad ng buwis na ginagamit pampa-aral sa mga Iskolar ng Bayan ngunit sarili nilang pamilya ay hindi nila mapag-aral.



     Marami pa akong natutunan tungkol sa Pilipinas. Nakikita ko na rin ang mga tunay na problema ng bansa at kung gaano tayo kalugmok sa mga problemang iyon. At nasasaktan rin akong panoorin ang lipunan kung saan may nakatataas at kung saan may naghihirap. Kung dati, malaking isyu na sa akin ang pagtingin ng mga tao sa iba't ibang UP campuses, ngayon ay nabubulagan na ako kung sakaling pagtutuunan ko pa ng pansin 'yon. Tapos kada pag-akyat at pagbaba ko pa sa Baguio, nakikita ko ang mga lupain na sinasaka. 'Di ko mapigilang isipin na maswerte na ako. Pero hindi 'yon nagtatapos doon. Hindi pwedeng wala akong pakialam at wala akong gagawin.



     Gusto ko nang tumigil mag-isip sa mga bagay na hindi tama. Hindi tama na hindi binibigay ang dapat na subsidy ng gobyerno sa edukasyon ng mga Pilipino, mapa-high school o elementary man. Hindi tama na maraming hindi nakakapag-aral sa UP dahil sa kakulangan sa pera. Hindi tama na may mga naghahari at nagdurusa sa lipunan. Hindi tama na halos wala nang sariling kultura ang Pilipinas. At hindi tama na maraming Pilipino ang walang pakialam.



     Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng kamalian na mayroon sa bansang sinilangan ko, isa akong UPian. Hindi lang basta may alam, kundi may pakialam. Kahit pa ilipat ako ng ibang eskwelahan o kahit pa makapagtapos na ako, alam kong simula nang mapunta ako sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, ang buhay ko ay nakatakdang ialay para suklian ang hirap at pagod ng mga Pilipino para lang ako'y maging Iskolar ng Bayan.



The University of the Philippines is a university of the people, by the people, and for the people.

The symbol of the Oblation is sacrifice. The sacrifice of one's self for the country.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Before the Storm

I'm baaaaaaack!

Oh well, today is the second holiday in my college life. Sorry if it took me this long to post something. It's really hard to connect to the internet. T_T

Aside from my bangs, I'm really getting fat here. The food is so good. In fact, right now I'm in "Oh My Gulay!" Restaurant in La Azotea, Session Road. MUST TRY! :) I mean the food is so yummy and the price is quite reasonable. I personally prefer the pasta "Anak ng Putanesca". It's kind of chilly but it's the best pasta I've tasted, ever. Plus, it has a lot of veggies.

And the place is really cool, too! It's like a mini museum, and very vintage ;). You definitely have to visit this place when you come to Baguio.

It's really rainy here. Which I enjoy since I like the rainfall. But I don't like being alone and caught in the rain. It's cold here. So there, I feel so lonely. Baguio did help me move on. But there's still something I know I'm missing. I just don't know what.

Soundtrip: Before the Storm by Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus.
*Makes me feel all the more lonely in this place. I miss him. :|

I have to go. Aww, I miss the internet so much. But what's good about being in the dorm and not much exposed to TV and the Internet is it makes it easier for me to concentrate on my studies. And being in UP BREHA is like having a family away from home. They know how you feel and you can treat them like your own sisters. :)

There, I guess I'll just update you about my subjects and extra curriculars on my next post. Ciao! :)
Standing out in the rain, need to know if it's over, 'cause I will leave you alone. Flooded with all this pain, knowing that I'll never hold you, like I did before the storm.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Um, uh-oh. Baguio. It's tomorrow.

Yes, I'm officially off to Baguio tomorrow. Am I freaking out? Am I being all nervous and/or excited. No, I am not. Am I abnormal? Yes, I guess so.

Oh right, homesickness. I'm still not ready for it. Although my mom is going to be with me for two days (and is actually more excited than I am, 'cause she told me to pack my things up two weeks before), being away from my family without nothing to do is going to kill me. Seriously.

Hm, can someone give me a proper itinerary? Since I'm in Baguio, and UP has no classes on Mondays, I'm going to spend my free days visiting all museums, parks and wonderful places in and near the city. Of course, with my best friend JesaLuna, whom I easily convinced to make UPB her second choice. But probably on most Mondays, the plan will be a major FAIL because she sleeps ALL DAY.

And aren't there haunted houses in Baguio? Ooh, exciting.

I guess I'll just take things the way they go. I have everything planned out for me, but I don't know if fate agrees with me.