Down the fading road

To walk down that road
With nothing but emptiness
Reminded me how I've abused myself,
Soaked up in happiness with you.
And with every step
Bursts of memories and
Distant echoes from nowhere.
Brighter and louder
As the road fades to darkness,
Until it is all I have to hold on.
So I walk to all directions,
Braver and stronger
As minutes go by.
Dancing as the wind blows
From an open ended place.
Must I choose to see the light again,
It only takes one step back.

Fickleness

You saw me sleeping like I always do.
You didn't know it was me, but you stared.
What made you look?
Was it because you were alone?
Was it because I was the only girl you see, like you used to say before?
Is it still all the same?
You looked, and it woke me up.
You were the first person I saw, wearing a surprised look.
What were you doing there, sitting at the far end of the table?
It was only the two of us, in a place where lonewolves go.
So, you were lonely, too.
How did you find me, when I was hiding from you?
Were you waiting? Was I waiting?
Maybe I was, but I've pushed that idea long ago.
I won't wait for you.
I'm not waiting for you.
I was just alone, that's all.
I wasn't ready, it was a choice not to be.
But I know you were, you could've left that place.
You could've gone out, laughing with your friends.
You could've wrapped your arms in a tight embrace with somebody else.
But you chose to be there. You looked away, and then you slept.
You chose to be idle, much longer than you've waited before.
We could have been in two different places.
But we gave it a rest and tried indifference.
We stayed there near each other, with our hearts worlds apart.
I know we'll be waiting for a very long time.
Sometimes in the same places, even when the memories hurt.
And it only gives us strength to go on.
I am not for you, and you are not for me.
But we are the reason why we're waiting.
Though we both don't know what we're waiting for.

Photo from Rex-chan at deviantart.

Maybe it's not the memories that hurt. But the present reality that the making of those beautiful memories has stopped for good.

EYS/T

Open Skyways.
Dreams and highways.
How many days until I see Your face?
Surround me with Your love, I don't want to wait in haste.
Every day, upon your glory I want to gaze.
I want to slow down and see the beauty in the sun's rays.
Please keep my ways pure and chaste.
I don't know how to win this race.
I know I will never falter with You as my foundation, my base.
Because You will always be there in any case.
You are my God, my only ace.
I want to live for You, for Your goodness I will taste.
I just want to honor You and bring You praise.
So in surrender, my hands I will raise.
I could never do anything good or right, if it weren't for Your grace.

 

Insecurities

Falling, tumbling

Fast like the wind

Down the winding road

That never ends

I'm calling to

Your name in the dark

Despite the wall

I built to keep you out

I know you want

To make me better

Can't there be beauty

In who I am?

Dear melancholy

Plesae embrace me

I want to elude

These killing eyes

Kismet Dance

I danced with kismet tonight.
I drew your name on the line.
It makes me sad to see you leaving.
With a sullen look upon your face.
It doesn't matter anyhow.
You opened a door that led to darkness.
Kismet pulled me closer to itself.
It must have known I'd go after you.
For a split second, you moved then disappeared.
But kismet took hold of me.
Saying I must continue the dance.
So long as the music is playing.