Wedding and Waiting

Doesn't wedding and waiting sound the same? I hung out with my best friend Louisen today, and guess what we (two hopeless romantics who never gets tired of talking about boys) have been up to. We were watching wedding videos that I got from a Wedding Expo last month, and it was for my debut, mind you. They're kind of the same and it was free anyway, so I gave it a try. Unfortunately, my cellphone got stolen by a gang as I was walking, but that's another story. So, here's the catch:

I have found a man I want to marry.

Haha! I know you'd think I'm crazy because I am. It's true. I've had a long-time pent-up crush on someone and I was in denial for months because I know it was just a normal attraction thingy. I liked him because (here goes my non-negotiables) he has a very deep relationship with God, he is a leader, he likes kids, he is actively serving God in a Bible-believing church, he has a good character and integrity, he loves and takes care of his family so much, and (here goes my negotiables), he's got the looks and the brains. But of course he's not perfect, I am aware of his flaws.

When I saw him again last Sunday, I just can't help but be overwhelmed by his mere presence. It feels wrong because I believe I don't really know him that well, plus he's 10 years older than me. I was serious enough to the point that I found myself saying, "Aww, five years from now he'll be 32, and even if I'd only be 22 by then, I would surely marry him." Haha, you're not the only one reading that line in disbelief, 'cause I'm included. Yes, it has come to that, people. In the end, I just had to give up so I said, "Well, it's his season to marry. Months or a year or two from now I'll be seeing photos of him and his wife on Facebook. I will have to accept it, but I would really be sad."

After he found out that I'll be transferring to L.A., he said, "Krishna, 'wag muna magbo-boyfriend ha. Asawa, ha. Asawa." For my foreign readers: he told me that I shouldn't have a boyfriend yet. I think he meant that I should think about my future husband first, or that I should choose a guy who is husband-material rather than just boyfriend-material. Anyhow, my emotions have calmed down now, and as long as I don't look at his profile and notes (yes, he writes so well, and he writes about God and His love), I think there will be progress. :D

I'm letting those thoughts go now, because even though I want to marry that person, I don't have the final say. So the point is:

1. Do good to your husband all the days of your life. The Bible talks about a wife of a noble character. Proverbs 31:12 says, "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." I believe that "all the days of her life" not only includes the time that she meets and marries her husband, but even before she meets him. That means that even right now, I am already given the responsibility to act and make decisions that will protect and not hurt my future husband, and to let God shape me to be the woman I should be for him. (Argh, I think He has got a lot to change in me. Haha. But what is impossible for God, anyway?) So I will pray for my future husband, and by God's grace, walk in His light as I wait.

2. God knows best. I will let the Creator of all mankind tell me who the best is for me. At the end of the day, He's the one who sees the heart, and He's the one who truly knows that person. The God of the universe who loves me so much did not withhold his only Son from me, so what more a great future husband? Here are verses that helped me understand why I should trust Him (inspired by my Victory Group):

Romans 12:12
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

1 Samuel 1:16
"But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'"

Hebrews 11:40
"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.'"

Bottomline: But then again, if His will for me is to be single forever (it happens), I will not ask for more because He is more than enough for me and He is all I will ever need. :)

Bridal Showers make me giddy.

Ate Len Accad and Kuya Jeng Aguinaldo II

“The man must be a leader. Because whether you like it or not, in marriage, the man should lead the woman. If he can’t lead himself, where and how much more can he lead you?” ~Len Accad

This was part of the advice I got from Ate Len as she tried to console me last time. Along with that, she also informed me that she is getting married to Kuya Jeng. I don't know, I always had the feeling that they were meant for each other the first time I saw their picture together when I was flipping through Kuya Jeng's Starbucks Planner. Ate Len has a strong personality, and Kuya Jeng is a leader.

As I watched the Bridal Shower earlier, I still couldn't believe that they would be husband and wife in nine days. Ate Len still looks like eighteen while Kuya Jeng looks like twenty-two. They met in UP Baguio, as they were both officers of Every Nation Campus Ministry (now called Lifebox). Ate Len recalled that they were really getting to know each other and enjoying themselves without the intention of looking for a partner in life.

There's just one line that they both kept on saying. Learn to wait on God. He works mysteriously and when you least expect it. And it makes a big difference to be able to offer your heart to only one person – God’s will. Plus, he/she would be the one perfect person to help you grow as you walk with God.

Seeing how they smiled, laughed and blushed earlier, and considering how much they know about each other, it's good to know that God's will is always the best and will last forever.

It kind of saddened me to know that Ate Len would be resigning from Lifebox. To which Kuya Jeng replied, "No, she'd still be here. Even if she resigns, it won't really stop her. This is her passion." See how much it does to wait on God?

A line from my favorite wedding vow:

"I promise to constantly pursue you, and make you feel loved and
wanted because you're worth it." ~ Ptr. Joseph Bonifacio (wedding vow to
Rica Carla Paralejo)