I was planning to attend the afternoon service because I already miss Pastor Jun. Haha. But since I stayed up late last night, I had no choice but to attend the last service for the day, at 8PM -- talk about divine intervention. To my surprise, a pastor from China was called up to the stage. Livestream was cut off because of the sensitivity of the information (yes, people, China is a communist nation and restricted from the gospel). Let's call him Pastor Jackie; he said he randomly picked his English name because of Jackie Chan. Hahaha, I already loved him at that very minute. For those of you reading this who went to the same service, I'm sorry, 'cause I can't match up, let alone do justice, to Pastor Jackie's preaching. :)
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Beyond Normal, Victory Christian Fellowship's current series.[/caption]What's the point?
He read from Acts 16:16-34, about the two miracles that happened when Paul went to Europe. It's better if you read the whole thing before proceeding, just so you guys won't miss anything. (1) On his way to a prayer meeting Paul supernaturally cast out the spirit in the demon-possessed woman in the name of Jesus. She can predict the future and was saying the truth that Paul and Silas were sent by God, but she was not inspired by the Holy Spirit. Pastor Jackie also mentioned Paul's patience because the woman went on for days. Paul did something good, but ended up badly -- beaten and jailed. (2) The prayer meeting continued in prison, for Paul and Silas prayed and sang hymns to God, even when they were suffering in prison. The prisoners were listening to them when a great earthquake suddenly shook the prison, leaving the chains loosed and the doors opened. The prison guard almost killed himself because he thought the prisoners had fled, but Paul called out in a loud voice saying that no one had escaped. The guard then ran in and fell down trembling before Paul and asked, "What must I do to be saved?" The guard took them to his home, and Paul and Silas spoke the word of the Lord to him and his household. They were saved and baptized that very night, thus the second family to be Christians in Europe.
Just a little background, we just finished our corporate Prayer and Fasting for 2013, and Victory Fort's current series is entitled "Beyond Normal". A lot of us are believing for the supernatural to happen in our lives this year, even miracles such as physical healing. But the point was not the two physical miracles that happened to Paul. The point was salvation, for there could be no greater blessing than that. Let us not lose sight of the heart of God, and even sometimes the purpose of the miracles and the sufferings in our lives -- salvation of mankind.
Rend your heart
He then quoted Joel 2:12-13, "'Even now,' declares the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.' Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." God is not asking for you to tear apart your garments, but for you to tear your heart (The Message version: Change your life, not just your clothes). In other words, let your heart be broken for the things that breaks His heart. And this is something so awesome because we don't have to do anything since Jesus did it all on the cross, He's just asking us to surrender our hearts. Pastor Jackie also said that repentance is a loving call from God to go back to Him. He's not angry at us, He just wants us to come back so we may experience God's love and power in its fullness. That verse also states how patient God is with us. There are so many times in the Bible (Isaiah) where God would turn His back on us because of our sins, but the moment we turn to Him and cry out, He immediately turns around, eager to heal the emptiness and the brokenness caused by our sins. I'm personally adding my favorite verse in Numbers (23:19), "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" He loves us, and He's not changing His mind about us even at times when we're so deep in our sin. His promise of redemption is still true now as it was before.
Pastor Jackie started talking about China, and how his church was at the second floor of his home so we can't call them an underground church anymore. Haha! He said that he felt like he was in heaven in Victory Fort, with all the lights, the sound system, and the smoke (LOL). He wished he could take that kind of excellence in China, and at that moment, I felt the hurt of persecution that Christians are experiencing in that nation. That was a place where boldness about God pays a price, and it hurts a lot knowing that we have the privilege to hear and share the gospel, and yet we take it for granted. He said he wanted to stay here, with all the great food and people. But in the end, he still chooses to go back, because his heart breaks knowing that billions of people are living life without the knowledge and the hope of God's saving grace through Jesus Christ. He also told us how he prayed and fasted for the salvation of his dad for many months. His dad finally accepted Christ, and all those wooden idols were thrown out of their home, but it's the idols of the heart that are hard to give up. Personal note: We can't worship God and still have idols in our heart.
After he finished the preaching, he prayed for us to come to repentance to God, and also have a heart that is desperate for His word. When the service ended, I could not pass up the chance to thank him and let him know that I appreciate him. I told Pastor Jackie that his message really touched my heart, and then I asked to pray for him and his family. That's how much I freakin' love him! I have never prayed for a pastor like that, ever. :D And I will continue to pray for him in the days to come.
Why I'm choosing to go
Not too long ago, I was so deep in my sin, and my spiritual sister, Alyanna Camille, asked me to read the same verse in Joel. That was the start of my repentance and commitment to God again. This prayer and fasting, my number one faith goal was God's direction on whether to stay here in the Philippines or go back to Los Angeles. I personally wanted to stay because this is where my comfort zone is, and it doesn't make sense to go to a place where the stronghold is my own weakness. It's like giving myself up to be sabotaged by the enemy. One of my spiritual brothers, Jericho, used Paul's analogy, that it's not always about how God will bless me, but how other people will be blessed through me. Paul suffered in prison, but he reached out to the prisoners, and a household got saved. Paul is one of the people in the Bible that I admire very much because he was called to world missions and was a great apologist (two of the things I want to become, haha). Though no matter how wise the counsel I seek, in the end, God still has the final say.
During prayer and fasting, God was telling me that I should not fear going back. I could no longer imagine myself going back to UP Baguio and reaching out students there. God gave me renewed compassion for my campus in Los Angeles, and even the compassion for the people who have caused persecution and oppression during my stay there. I couldn't deny His calling anymore, it's as if God is saying, "I love these people, and you should reach out to them." But I still struggled to obey, because it's the first time in years when my immediate family is together again, physically. God has been showing me their importance recently, and it hurts to think that I'll be spending the next couple of years in my life without them again. It broke my heart, and I cried out to God. But I also trusted who He is, a God who places such high value on family, and I knew He was going to make a way so I surrendered anyway. God has been confirming this call through the church and my family as well. A week later, I explained to my parents the implications of continuing my studies in L.A., and my mom said she will try to find work there for the duration of college. We might be together after all, I still don't know.
The point is, God is sovereign, His promises are always true, and I can trust wherever He leads me because of His nature and character and because He knows what's best not just for me, but for everyone around me. In the book "My Utmost for His Highest", Oswald Chambers said that the call of God is the expression of His nature. When He calls you to something, it reveals to you what His heart is for. And right now, I am in awe of God's love and compassion for the nations.
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