Afternoon Dream

me, fighting with a lady. didn't know who she was. i was a caretaker of a baby. we fought, and she took the baby. i realized she took care of the baby before. realized that the baby was my child. something must have happened. house burnt down. this must be a reincarnation of my past life, in a different situation. Or maybe a dream in another dream. fast forward, the baby became a little girl. i took a picture of her. blurred, as if she wasn't there. realized she was a ghost. didn't know what to do. the other person standing there told me, "what do you think?"

we had dinner with friends. the child, my child, turned to a boy. i was puzzled. anyhow, i really felt an emotional connection to the boy in the dream. i hugged him and kissed his cheeks. i realized i wanted to take care of him and be there for him so much. it's like i've missed a lifetime without him. we invited him to do something on saturday. as time passes, little boy becomes a teenager, about 17-19 years old. i still feel the same. i don't want him to go. i was still puzzled and freaked out because he was a ghost, the person who was always there told me, "just wait for saturday". someone wrote something on a paper. maybe it was me, or that other person. it was like a burial invitation, including the name of my child. he saw it, and i saw his sad face. he thanked me, and i realized that i love him so much. he went away.

fast forward to a swimming pool, he was going to jump and drown himself. someone said, "no, don't yet. we can do something about this." as if my vision was impaired, it was like his spirit was jumping, but his body stayed there. he stayed, and he was wet. that was weird. i wanted to run and embrace him, like i would if i would ever have a child in the future. i'm glad that he stayed. he looked at me, a look of love. i want him to stay, just for a day. a giving of flowers, a proper goodbye.

weirdest ending ever. i went home, went to the bathroom, and suddenly realized that i had to do something today. i poked my head out from the bathroom door and asked our helper if i had any visitors. yes, she answered. i asked for her to call him, several times. he left earlier, and i asked for her to run after him. i couldn't miss this chance. i have to meet this person, so important to me, which i have treated half as a guy i love, and half as a brother.

then i woke up.