Staying Away from Pepper Sprays and Saliva

     “It’s either you take summer classes or you stay with grandma and grandpa in Nueva Ecija. You choose,” mom said. Let’s just say that there’s always finality lurking in the tone of her voice. It’s summer! Can I just not do anything at all? I mean, if I’d be taking summer class at this time, I’d be defeating the purpose of summer vacation. I’m not intending to study after being fed up last finals week. I heaved a sigh after hearing her say those words.

     Summer in Nueva Ecija sounds great, but it wasn’t an option. It was also this season last year when my family went there for a reunion. It wasn’t long until I fell in-love with the place, when I could just sit back on a haystack and enjoy a scenic view of the green grass stretching to infinity. And it also didn’t take long when I started watching the sunset hand-in-hand with someone else.

     His name is Miguel. He came up to me together with his carabao when he saw me fall off while farming which, not to mention, left me dripped in mud. He extended his hand and reached out to me to help me get up, but I ignored him. I can manage, thank you very much, I thought to myself. I guess you could call that girl power or pride or whatever. I walked away with an imprint of his medium-built body, his face, and his deep-set almond eyes on my head. It was stuck there since then.

     After meeting him that day, he always made it a point to talk to me before he goes home. He even invited me and my cousins to his house sometimes. Things happened fast. Well, we never crossed the line of holding hands, though. But I never knew what I was to him, and my giddiness overcame me, as always. There’s only a day left before I return to Manila. I had to meet him, I had to tell him I like him and I want to hear the same thing from him. I know it’s just a summer fling, but still, I couldn’t resist the temptation of hearing such words. Yes, so much for being conceited.

     I went over his house after sunset. Nobody was home, and the door was left open. I noticed it was always like that since I came there. I decided to wait for him; I have a few hours to spare anyway. He came home drunk. As soon as I stood up, he shoved my shoulders to the wall, and he… he… I can’t even bring myself to talk about it. I went back as if nothing happened, but I still feel his sweat and saliva drying up on my skin.

     When I was a child, I remember picking up something that seemed like a perfume bottle. My mom told me not to touch it, but I sprayed it on myself anyway. It was pepper spray, and I ended up feeling so hot and itchy, and I even got wounds from scratching myself. I wonder how some things that are so seemingly harmless could end up frustrating you for the rest of your life.

     “Nueva Ecija? I’ll pass. Greet grandma and grandpa for me, mom. I miss them. Summer class is going to be fun.” There was an unobvious sarcasm in my voice. But I think I know better to choose something seemingly harmful, in terms of stress, like summer class. That’s just for me, though.

*FICTION